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Showing posts from March, 2022

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– Confession – So many times a day I now let myself just cry ... over nothing, not over the news, toxic dumping, competitive moves,  or pervasive numbness and dullness (those things make me stunned, fearful, fierce, courageous, and clear), but the tears seem to flow when across the realization of how human we really all are, fragile and strong – oh such beauty – and how we forget that fact  when we can’t bow,  when busy with power struggles – because then we ride high and proud on our horses trampling over the dead, elders, children and our own broken gift of humanity, oblivious to the destruction we leave behind, as if those houses and churches and lives buried in rubble never existed, as if nothing ever happened, as if we are invincible... this makes me cry....      The botoxed face of Putin, the swollen angry grimace of X or Y, the demanding stride and swing of Will, the famed celebrities basking in their glory as nothing ever could touch them, they all feel better than ever, but Wi
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From Persian New Year: Happy Nowruz –– to Johann Sebastian Bach’s Birthday   Examples of my favorite music are Persian classical music and Bach’s music. And of course, much more – the Blues, folk traditions from all over the world, etc. etc… All music is deep expression of soul, joy and exuberance, sorrow and longing, strength and lament, reverence and devotion. And that is what I love so much: music takes devotion, whether as listener or as musician. It invites us into the inner chapel of our human condition. It encompasses all human experience and knows no boundaries, goes beyond language and nationality, speaks across times, ethnic roots and territories. Music asks us to open our ears, heart, skin and senses, so we can vibrate with its messages…. For me it encompasses the whole range from earthly delight to divine transcendence. This Monday, I am breathing in and out celebration & meaning in order to lift my spirits. Watering the garden the birds all around me agree.     March 2
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Frühlingsanfang Spring begins the Greening Spirit appearing in full regalia Warrior for Peace
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   The  Black Lives Matter Mural Project  is located at 641 Euclid Avenue in Berkeley, California.  It consists of two large panels painted on adjoining garage doors which document the names, dates, occupations, hobbies, livelihoods and manner of death for some of the many African Americans who have perished due to state violence and police brutality.  The mural – started in June 2020 – is the inspiration of Karina Epperlein and is supervised by her. It is still in progress. Photos by Bob Ng (more at beginning of this blog) See all posts about 641 Black Lives Matter Memorial Mural >
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Feeling unsettled – helpless – someone crying silently in my heart – these days I must keep disciplined focus on the tasks at hand .   Teaching private sessions in the back patio or on zoom, getting absorbed in cutting back eager ivy, and weeding out an innocent looking, not easily noticeable but explosive invader plant. Talking to my good friend Bernd in Berlin for an hour and half, his wife is Russian, her mother does not believe there is a war in Ukraine. I take to cooking different congees, with rice, barley… This is one of those times in my life when food needs to be very simple. Playing my cello is the best medicine.   A friend texts me out of the blue, she needs to find help caring for her ailing elder husband. She remembers me having Araly when caring for my husband Bob, once a week for 4 hours for the last few months of his life. I had decided I want to devote myself full time to this task, but I instinctively know I need help and perspective so I will not drown. Araly tells m
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The last two years have been either offering or forcing on us plenty of opportunity to be creative.  How did you experience  Prince Corona’s  stern reign? Some of us had choices in how to meet a drastically altered daily life, others did not. All of us were challenged.    Hopefully we are learning to be flexible, inventive and creative. Sensitive to what is needed at a given moment, finding new ways.   For me that means   to be creative   which so many people are yearning for. How about just simply meeting life with openness and curiosity? Practicing our innately unique ways of participating in community.   My cello teacher Bob Ng is a C ello Hero ! He went on the adventure of teaching outdoors and made it an exciting experience for his students and neighbors. He erected an open tent with a heater for cold days, a fan for hot days, a copy machine, lights. It was cozy and luxurious. I started my weekly lessons like this and loved it. Sometimes rain was pounding, strong winds would bl
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Thoughts on Shamelessness Florida legislature passes bill that limits how schools and work places teach about race and identity   https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/03/10/florida-legislature-passes-anti-woke-bill/   The measure prohibits trainings that cause someone to feel guilty or ashamed about the past collective actions of their race or sex…     These words caught my eye yesterday, they stunned me. I wanted to carefully read the article later, but it was not easy to find, it seemed to be hiding. Why do so many Americans  desperately  struggle to avoid feeling the tiniest bit of guilt for their country’s past and present “sins”? (aka mass slaughter, genocide, slavery, lynching, racial terror, internment camps, mass incarceration, etc., etc…) To experience guilt, shame and remorse for wrong-doings is normal, and healthy. We expect remorse from a murderer. Guilt has a necessary function, allowing us to make corrections individually and collectively, motivating us to make amen
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  Little Witches are flying on their brooms – a peace dove accompanies them  – harbingers of hope, they bring protection: “ Let us be riding into the night, we'll deliver consolation, bread & butter, peace & warm honey milk, for lonely hungry children in this world, sprinkle sleep dust & lullabies into weary hearts… ” Little peace witches are busy tonight…the moon shines bright…   (enamel brooches by my mother Jutta Epperlein, about 2 inches in height, ca. 1985)   Hoffnung, Trost, Brot und Butter, Frieden und warme Honigmilch, Schlafzauber und Wiegenlieder...
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A Sprinkling of Rain only, but…. Quince blossoms, unfolding delicate petals to reveal their inner world  offering us a glimpse into the origins of Becoming…. mysterious, vulnerable, open…. With her soft hair and raindrops, this quiet wonder invites bees, insects and my close-up gaze, till I drown happily in so much beauty.  Overcome, I inhale the faint promise of quince, the long journey to fruit with its many dangers. The future is beholden  in the fragile flower  with such distinct purpose . Sighing with awe, the miracle of golden quince’s taste arises on my tongue. How much I love gnarly quince tree... and I am flooded by her ancient, delicate wisdom of Becoming, Vulnerability & Strength.  
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In the Dark Today – these dark days of war raging in Europe – my heart bleeding, the deep red camelia in my garden brings strength. My eye catches the smile of her sister camelia tree, finally releasing the feminine grace of her first pink blossoms that resemble lotus flowers. Peace – she whispers, and I fall into prayer with all plant beings, animal beings, human beings. Mercy, mercy. A   David and Goliath   Story has been evolving on the world stage for us to behold, has perhaps even surprised us. Teaching us what   true leadership  looks like, the willingness to sacrifice one’s safety and life, to govern with clarity, integrity, courage, and to model the virtues that are necessary in times of hardship and suffering,   in times of needed Resistance . This true leadership – we don’t get to see it that often these days. But its power is obvious, it pierces our hearts, it makes us choke with feeling. It forces us to live up to the necessary inspiration of the   Impossible . May we pay