Karinaland River

Let Us Be Careful   The last few days, a feeling of being adrift in a vast tumultuous ocean…. I am stirred deeply.  Uneasy. The recent bizarre speeches of American politicians in Germany have left me strangely irritated. The arrogant tone, the hostility. As most of you know, I am now officially  both a German Citizen and an American Citizen . Both countries with their histories and cultures are lodged in my bones. Ich bin tief verbunden . In telephone talks with my two siblings, I try to find out how things are evolving in Germany, the country I left 43 years ago. In recent years, cultural transformations of unknown outcome have been happening. Again, times of war in Europe. It does not bode well for the future. The weight of the Unknown. Generational and personal memories keep arising.     In 1992, I arrange for my (Chicago born Jewish)  late husband Bob Blauner and me  (München born German) a personal tour of the Dachau Concentration Camp Memorial. W...

Folding and Unfolding   How to fold?   Fold myself into the world and its troubles.   Unfold the questions. The sneaking helplessness. How to breathe myself into a Luftballon? Helium balloons floating high. Eagle-eye view. Fold myself into the fierce defense of a small spider. Hiding, scrambling. Once outside, she is ready to spin her web, again. How does she do it? Six legs. Our hands, too, fold and unfold... Could we fold ourselves into a sanctuary? Become shelter. Unfolding lurking anger. Eyes shine with gratitude. Allowing for confusion, wrinkles, not knowing. Astonishment. Surprise. Space for koala bears, storks, and hawks alike. Beckoning the heart so hurt to transform. Into a treasure chest for swollen moons. Solace. Insight. Wrapped into cosmic invisible arms. Geborgenheit. Folding. A refuge for lonely mothers with sensitive little boys. Who must cry, can’t help but wail. Too much, too fast. Overwhelm. Tears and ultimate letting go. How does she protect her hands,...

  Expecting the Unexpected   Engaging with life in this open mindset beckons us to be fully awake, present, observant. Centered and grounded. It keeps us nimble, responsive, flexible. Fluid and flowing. Seduces us into curiosity, aliveness – open to new experiences. Whatever they are. When I arrive at the beach, before reaching the top of the dune, I don’t know what the rainstorms,  waves, ebb and flow will have washed away, built, or eroded since my last visit. What will it look like? Will the sand dollars be abundant? The pelicans perhaps absent? The whale skull gone? The “iron beast” submerged or exposed? Today, the Pacific is unusually calm and smooth, as if to show the way, offer a different possibility. The waves are rolling in slow and low, only once in a while they are crashing. The seagulls and long-billed sand pipers are hanging out with each other, peacefully. Bundles of tangled seaweed, plenty of sand dollars, pebbles. And further down, a lonely big elephant s...