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First came the Research of the names and lives of Black men, women, children, teenagers, and trans people killed by police in the past decades. Excruciating. I wanted to personalize the victims of this endemic state violence. Finding anything more than the death date and year of birth was difficult in most cases. I wanted the birthdate, who they were, what they loved and engaged in. Very time consuming detective work. At times impossible to find more than bare bones. So dispiriting. The heart grows heavy with this task.

Thank goodness, I had helpers. Tomye & Laura who both painted with me, did a bit. And I will introduce you to each of them soon. Then my German friend Renate offered to help, and she did a lot of names – I am so grateful to her.

I still do research to this day, and jot all the many names down from recent months. Then I go out and visit the hundred-year-old live oaks in my backyard, breathe and lean on their magnificent trunks. These days they are so happy :) the fog has come back, and keeps their moss alive and vibrant. At night, rain drizzles and drips from their canopies. Being with the tears and joys of heaven and earth. 

Comments

Laura said…
Participating in the bit of research that I did was very hard emotionally. It took a long time to piece together information in order to calculate an accurate birth date for example. Through the process, I would inevitably read and watch disturbing and upsetting material, statements made from devastated family members, parents, siblings and children, all pleading for recognition and justice.

I'm grateful for Karina's teaching, guidance, care and supportive presence in my life. Her classes in "The Art of Slowing Down" allow me to be more present for myself with the nurturing support of our intimate group. The practices Karina leads, allow the possibility for me for me to be more aware of the quality of my breath and the sensations in my body, the held and stuck places.. the practices and her guidance help me to be more in touch with grief, loss, anger and sadness, which I felt a lot of during the months at the height of the pandemic. Rage, despair and frustration are not pleasant emotions to experience but I appreciate Karina's supportive and persistent urging for me to wake-up and to come alive and not be numb or apathetic, especially in response to the circumstances of these people's lives and the nature of their deaths.

I truly value the opportunity Karina gave me to help with painting the names for the memorial. I was glad to be able to work with my hands to contribute to something to commemorate the people who were wrongfully murdered. It gave me a unique chance to spend more time with Karina, to listen and learn more about her own life's work and experience, her childhood in postwar Germany, her move to the US, her caregiving and social work, her documentary films, her work with women in prison.. I learned a lot from her sharing her knowledge and personal experiences.

I am also very glad and appreciative of the opportunity to meet and work with Tomye, Renate and Nicky. I hope that we can continue our sharing and dialogue through this blog site.
July 8, 2021 at 3:01 PM
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