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The story below is about a ridiculous insignificant scene that came back to me in its deeper meaning and essence when I told it to a friend.

It is January First of 2021, I am on my way to Limantour Beach to celebrate my mother’s death day. I stop in Point Reyes Station to pick up some food. Walking down the sidewalk ready to cross the street, I see a youngish guy loudly shouting, gesturing and talking at people in a theatrical manner – clearly he is “high.” For a split second I am tempted to discard him as crazy or a nuisance, but then I feel the inexplicable compulsion to enjoy his outlandish style of holding forth like a fool. I just can’t refuse it, and I send him silent good wishes and inwardly smile to myself. It is after all a special day.

When I come back out of the store, he gestures from across the street, pointedly addressing me: “I saw that, Lady, yeah you – keep it that smile, beautiful…. yeah so beautiful….” He goes on with more that I don’t remember. But clearly he is in a state where he can see the invisible. He felt my inner good wishes for him. I turn and wave, walking backwards, now smiling broadly – outwardly. My steps take on even more of a swing, and he keeps hollering after me. He is tuned in, appreciative. Somehow I feel called out, but happily. I turn around a last time, arms waving and smiling like a fool before I turn the corner.

Sometimes we are saved from our own defended-ness, callousness, unwillingness to pay attention, and the need to discard someone else. Telling the story to my friend, I call him the January First guy. Is he a clown, trickster, a “down & out” character, or perhaps a king? In his Shakespearean loud manner he called me out on my smile, which I had not shared yet outwardly. And it is precisely this that highlighted how visible and loud our inner hidden thoughts and feelings really are, how they radiate out and affect all around us. In his being “high” and crazy, the January First guy was bringing my secret well-wishing to the light – inadvertently we gave each other a gift. 

Comments

nicole gervacio said…
the stories you share - moments that seem small or passing in a day - always offers various seedlings of wisdom. i feel like in these experiences you bring a magnifying glass and expand on the nuance & meanings. this has me reflecting on how our culture conditions us to feel about strangers, people one the street, & "crazy" people, how we define "crazy" and how these perceptions influence and shift how we move through life. conditioning that limits our ability to really experience, see, listen, take in the world...appreciate the openness and reciprocity of the gift between you & January First guy :)
October 14, 2021 at 12:42 PM
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