-

30 years ago 

 

July 12, 1992, champagne in the patio 

30 years ago. Our backyard wedding with only a judge and two witnesses, under the live oaks.  

 

I like the strange double exposure in the above still – hard to even spot, visible on the lower left, the extra phantom glass floating… can you see it? I look at this photo from the past which seems now so long ago, and I wonder, really…?  Life lived is very embedded in my body, and I remember sitting on Bob’s lap, feeling his arm, our happiness, being in love. It all seems like a dream, another life, and so far away now that Bob has become my ancestor.  

 

I am never going to get married, I had pronounced all my life. And when I announced the news to friends in my then theater world, they would laugh at my joke, disbelieving. But life was one huge ongoing adventure – still is – and I learned that never is not how things evolve. I was 38 years old then…. Thank you, Bob, you gave me love and stability and so much more; I brought you playfulness and my artistic spirit, caring for you here at home till your last breath; and most importantly, all along for 25 years we both offered each other deep growth, creative adventures and fulfillment. 


Blog entry from a year ago, July 12, 2021

https://karinalandriver.blogspot.com/2021/07/been-living-here-on-euclid-since-july.html 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

-
Image
  Immigration On Friday morning of September 20, I am spending a couple of hours for my naturalization interview in the federal building  on 630 Sansome Street in San Francisco  that houses the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. Then later at 1 pm, in the oath ceremony, I am reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. Standing, holding up my right hand like everyone else, repeating the words after our master of ceremonies, I am engulfed in a chorus of immigrants’ voices from all over the world. Out of maybe 80, only two are Caucasian. The man leading us through the 20 minutes ceremony, is most likely a judge, but without his robe. He is an elegant, kind, and personable elder. We can hear the genuineness in his voice, and we are genuine, too. As we pledge allegiance to this country, the English sentences might ring slightly different for each of us. In another minute we will be citizens of the United States. Something in me is expanding. I am swearing to be a responsible an...
Read more
-
Image
  Last Dance with Uncle Oak This time, to honor the loss of another member of my ancient live oaks, I want to climb into the tree. Like I used to do 32 years ago, move, touch, feel – suspended in the air, resting on bark, sensations to be remembered. Perhaps documenting it? I ask around last minute, and find a good match in photographer  Rebecca Weinstein  to take stills of my last dance with old Uncle Oak. Once my naked feet touch the rough bark, a dynamic joy starts spreading through my body and limbs. The surprising urge to elongate myself within the safety of his sturdy arms. Next morning in a different light, I dress for another chance of closeness, envisioning my smallness to be captured. The freedom to grow into a tree, become tree , get an oak’s view, blend well, and disappear eventually. Uncle Oak, has been leaning for decades, growing northward horizontally, reaching far over into the neighbor’s yard. Now that Mama Oak has left, his malaise is more apparent...
Read more
-
Image
  Looking at you… f aintly the handwriting reads:    Karina & Bob, Here’s looking at you in 1994 With best regards, Howard   Back when he studied T’ai Chi with me for a few years, Howard was already older, a fine, eccentric gentleman. And a very good and well-known artist. With a deeply philosophical side to him which made him enjoy my way of teaching the Art and Principles of this ancient practice. He’d have questions, comments, always delighted by insights, his or mine.   In the hallway I often pass his small watercolor, with its (faded by now) inscription to Bob and me. Bob’s birthday will be in three days on May 18.  If alive, my late husband – who died in October of 2016 – would turn ninety-five this year. Suddenly I feel the presence of time in my heart, swirling about back and forth, swooshing from chamber to chamber, expanding. Howard’s greeting from 1994 – thirty years later, I am now seventy, about the age he was back then.  Suddenly I am...
Read more