-

 Lebensfreude 

mother & daughter pomegranate pair

I am sure you have times like these, too. Feeling amused & humored, chuckling, laughing – not just when in company, but also when alone. (Not to be confused with feeling lonely.) It’s the way the squirrel jumps, flies, and lands running along the branches high up in the oaks, mind-boggling – the swift surefooted acrobatics tickle me, make me gasp and giggle… Elegance, ease, and ferocious drive to build, find, hide, feed, explore.  


For the past 6 years, living by myself, I’ll be laughing out loud when reading or listening to the radio, remembering long ago mishaps or watching an interaction on the street. Perhaps between dog and human, crow and hawk, or a car attempting to parallel park in vain. When out walking, I smile at people for no reason. Older folks moving slow will have all the time to smile back. Watching children busy playing by themselves, brings smiles. I find pleasure in a million small moments, dancing with the garden’s plants, cello, mural, my writing, and students. The bowl of warm barley stew or oatmeal, my bare feet on the soft old wooden floors. Delights and gratitude abound. It’s a miracle. And fleetingly, I wonder how I possibly deserve... Honestly, do we? Is it even about us? Just as much as there are times for sorrow, there are times when life is enjoying itself. And life might be enjoying us... Witnessing that owner-less joy, initiates quiet awe in me. So lernen wir die Freude des Lebens kennen. We get to participate in Life’s joy. 


pomegranate, rose petals, nasturtium, strawberry fruit, parsley, rosemary  

all smiling 


Comments

  1. FernOctober 27, 2022 at 9:13 AM

    Thanks for the eloquent reminder to "find pleasure in a million small moments" !

    ReplyDelete
  2. Alex KOctober 27, 2022 at 2:44 PM

    It is very sweet what you write. Reading it I felt a bit like what you describe when smiling at a child playing. The pictures also brought a smile to my face. And there is another note touched in me when you write "we get to participate in Life's joy." I am not sure all of what I feel but the thought of life having its own joy is something I have not thought but it ripples within me. Somehow it seems both humbling (it's not just all about us:) and exhilarating.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ayshaNovember 6, 2022 at 10:14 PM

    I spent days crying about the sequence of this post following the previous one, where you write about Bob and caregiving. You write, "It is like we are in love all over again as in the beginning of our relationship."

    How can there be pomegranates, barley stew and oatmeal after this?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KarinaNovember 7, 2022 at 8:25 PM

      yes – how can there? ...so mysteriously beautiful, to be discovered...

      Delete
  4. SummerNovember 3, 2024 at 10:05 PM

    The photos dazzle me. And the words inivte us into such a warm and welcoming place. Congratulations on your vote in your first election.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

-
Image
  Immigration On Friday morning of September 20, I am spending a couple of hours for my naturalization interview in the federal building  on 630 Sansome Street in San Francisco  that houses the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. Then later at 1 pm, in the oath ceremony, I am reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. Standing, holding up my right hand like everyone else, repeating the words after our master of ceremonies, I am engulfed in a chorus of immigrants’ voices from all over the world. Out of maybe 80, only two are Caucasian. The man leading us through the 20 minutes ceremony, is most likely a judge, but without his robe. He is an elegant, kind, and personable elder. We can hear the genuineness in his voice, and we are genuine, too. As we pledge allegiance to this country, the English sentences might ring slightly different for each of us. In another minute we will be citizens of the United States. Something in me is expanding. I am swearing to be a responsible an...
Read more
-
Image
  Last Dance with Uncle Oak This time, to honor the loss of another member of my ancient live oaks, I want to climb into the tree. Like I used to do 32 years ago, move, touch, feel – suspended in the air, resting on bark, sensations to be remembered. Perhaps documenting it? I ask around last minute, and find a good match in photographer  Rebecca Weinstein  to take stills of my last dance with old Uncle Oak. Once my naked feet touch the rough bark, a dynamic joy starts spreading through my body and limbs. The surprising urge to elongate myself within the safety of his sturdy arms. Next morning in a different light, I dress for another chance of closeness, envisioning my smallness to be captured. The freedom to grow into a tree, become tree , get an oak’s view, blend well, and disappear eventually. Uncle Oak, has been leaning for decades, growing northward horizontally, reaching far over into the neighbor’s yard. Now that Mama Oak has left, his malaise is more apparent...
Read more
-
Image
  Looking at you… f aintly the handwriting reads:    Karina & Bob, Here’s looking at you in 1994 With best regards, Howard   Back when he studied T’ai Chi with me for a few years, Howard was already older, a fine, eccentric gentleman. And a very good and well-known artist. With a deeply philosophical side to him which made him enjoy my way of teaching the Art and Principles of this ancient practice. He’d have questions, comments, always delighted by insights, his or mine.   In the hallway I often pass his small watercolor, with its (faded by now) inscription to Bob and me. Bob’s birthday will be in three days on May 18.  If alive, my late husband – who died in October of 2016 – would turn ninety-five this year. Suddenly I feel the presence of time in my heart, swirling about back and forth, swooshing from chamber to chamber, expanding. Howard’s greeting from 1994 – thirty years later, I am now seventy, about the age he was back then.  Suddenly I am...
Read more