“I Wanted All Of Society To Be A Witness.”
These days, when tears spring up in the eye so quickly, so readily like tiny wild strawberries, each time I know the heart is touched whether I want it or not – the silvery breathy voice of the young science writer, the shy bowing of the singer receiving her applause, the sweet smile of Cecile after an exquisite concert, the fiercely angry voices of French admirers of Gisèle Pelicot. And then of course: the grandson, one arm around his 72-year-old grandmother’s shoulder as she gives her brief speech to the press after a grueling months-long public trial of rape. He admiringly glances at her, with utter calm, concentration and confidence, soft support in his face and body language, nothing restless, over bearing, pitying – only admiration, respect and love. And I burst into tears!
This rape story is not about a celebrity, starlet, beauty queen, but about a retired manager, married mother and grandmother, having been drugged unconscious and raped for over ten years by 70 men, neighbors and strangers, all arranged, orchestrated, and videographed by her husband. The story first seems so over the top. Like a fairy tale. But Gisèle Pelicot forces us to pay attention. She insists on being public with her identity, and the trial not behind closed doors. So that we all can finally see that the emperor has no clothes on. “I wanted all of society to be a witness.”
What this young man had to witness is inconceivable for most young men – I hope he never saw the footage. Here he stands his ground in such devotion, tenderness and beauty. I am awe struck. See brief video of Gisèle’s speech with her grandson next to her – it is unforgettable if you look closely.
The world will not be the same after this public story of unbelievable defiance, it will affect future generations of women and men. In my opinion, the show trials of famous stars in America did not achieve as much as the quiet resolve of “ordinary” Gisèle Pelicot. This is something that we must come to grips with, hotel room cleaners get raped daily. But the press pays mostly attention to high profile cases, the more famous the starlets the better, the more money is being reaped. Hundreds of ordinary women in Avignon stand with Gisèle for weeks and months, day after day, lining up at the court. Worldwide women send their support. Early on, I am struck by her focus, clarity and courage. She is not after revenge. Gisèle rather forces the state to do what it is supposed to do: protect its citizens from abuse. She has the evidence. "The shame is theirs, not ours." And she adds: “I say it's not bravery, it's will and determination to change society.” What it must have cost her.
Women from all over the word respond, and especially “les Amazones Avignon” gluing messages of support for Gisèle Pelicot on walls around Avignon before the verdict.
(Very inspiring article)
The unassuming bespectacled young man knows the moment is historic, his grandma is a national French heroine for going public with her identity and case. Something in me, the woman, feels like a most fragrant balm is poured on hundreds-years old wounds. Words fail, only tears speak. How humans can shock us into utter terror and revulsion, and how humans can make us burst into tearful awe and tenderness. As if we really needed Gisèle Pelicot, as if we really needed this young man. Yes, we did, yes, we do. After centuries of rape, abuse, ridicule, and “reversed” shame Gisèle insists calmly: “The shame must change sides.” And it is utterly effective that she forgoes revenge. Gisèle Pelicot ignites my own heart with courage – she stands her ground and she takes her dignity into her own hands, back from the courts’ and societies’ ancient ways of shaming the victim.
And now – I have to cry each time I tell the story: Gisèle addressing the press, and her grandson standing so very close to her. This physical gesture, the young man’s face full of feeling, the light radiating from Gisèle’s eyes and features. The tears roll freely over and over again, not just mine, centuries of tears – may we be blessed with more heroines like her. It’s not her words, it is her actions. May we protect all women from being shamed, belittled, ignored, paid off to be silent about their suffering of grave violations: “UN VIOL EST UN VIOL!” Are Americans paying attention? A rape is a rape. What can men do to protect women? In France this is being discussed in families and collectively. Gisèle Pelicot – a modern day Jeanne d’Arc – urges us to not forget “the victims, unrecognized, whose stories often remain hidden. I want you to know that we share the same struggle.”
Beautiful longer article by French journalist about the Sisterhood and Solidarity she found at the trial.
(stills of my beloved feathers old and new)
Your fervour your incandescence in seeing this so clearly, Gisele's impeccability, has me realize how I have clouded my seeing of woman's abuse and exploitation but not just that but also in general my numbing the world's numbing of the injustice acted out all around. I am grateful to you.
ReplyDeleteIn mid December, I had attempted to read an article about Gisele Pelicot and the men who raped her and I stopped after a couple of paragraphs, totally horrified, completely shut down. For the following few days, those men and the story haunted me nonstop, recalling several months that I spent living in panic, rarely able to sleep. This essay, as well as the links – les Amazones Avignon and the video of Gisele speaking with her grandson to her side – have completely turned around my experience. I read/watch these easily, with tears and terror AND hope and inspiration: that Gisele can survive means that I too can survive! Her grandson’s presence and devotion mean that I too can bear witness! How healing, and how important that we have good storytellers (like you, Karina, thank you) who can trace the healing lessons here.
ReplyDeleteKarina, What a tender rendering of such gross and inhumane violence. Like one of the other readers, I too couldn't bear to dive much deeper than the numbers: number of years, number of men, number of lies. Unfathomable. But now the TERRIBLE SECRET has been let loose . Who could turn away from such dignity and grace? She did not hold on but let go. She freed herself, which is also a profound lesson. Thank you for sending in this moment, as the Earth turns towards more light. And thank you, as I'd not seen the video with her grandson. A statement of love.
ReplyDeleteAnd here is the link to a longer article by a French Journalist – covering the trial she found and experienced much Sisterhood and Solidarity – beautiful:
ReplyDeletehttps://newlinesmag.com/spotlight/gisele-pelicot-finding-sisterhood-at-frances-mass-rape-trial/
The article from NEW LINES shook me to the core...the testimony of the daughter-in-law, omg.
ReplyDeleteWords at the trial by Gisele's daughter-in-law Aurore:
Delete“I want to tell Gisele that I admire her,” she says. “Not having memories of these rapes could have been her one saving grace in this hell,” she adds. But Gisele chose to confront those memories head-on, to watch those videos alongside the court.
“Hats off, Gisele,” Aurore concludes.
I dearly hope that Gisele's incredible heroism will indeed influence future generations. The video clip is stunning, her eloquence so profound; thank you Karina for sharing it with us.
ReplyDeleteThe interesting thing is that this change has been or is already happening. if we don’t know how to look and listen, we will not recognize the young grandson’s demeanor, he is already there – in this new vibration, long before we see him.
DeleteYes, I believe you are right, the grandson's demeanor does embody a generational change. I spoke to my young long-time housemate Gabe today about it, about what men can do; he said "It can begin with calling out the smaller things, the verbal things" that betray attitudes.
DeleteThe quotations in the NEW LINES article brought tears to my eyes. The insights of Aurelie, the 18 year old: "This trial showed us that any man can be a perpetrator", pointing out the banality of the defendants "with a shudder." The banality of evil. France of course is far from alone in having a legal system that needs drastic change regarding sexual violence.
It's very disheartening that a rapist is about to occupy the White House for a second time. Most of his supporters deny the reality of it. What a complete opposite he is of the late Jimmy Carter, who wrote in his 2014 book "A Call to Action: Women, Religion, Violence and Power": "I have become convinced that the most serious and unaddressed worldwide challenge is the deprivation and abuse of women and girls, largely caused by a false interpretation of carefully selected religious texts and a growing tolerance of violence and warfare, unfortunately following the example set during my lifetime by the United States."
But, as the psychologist from Lyon was quoted, "Gisele has given women permission to speak. That's a gift beyond measure."
And, regarding Trump: Bless E. Jean Carroll for her bravery in taking him on, knowing the death threats and abuse that would surely follow.
ReplyDeleteThank you for composing this and inviting us all into further discourse, Karina. I agree that we did need Gisele Pilicot’s will and determination, as well as her grandson’s role model of support and affection. I feel like society is desensitized to rape these days. The way we glorify and elect convicted abusers is one small glimpse into the normalization of such atrocious acts. The world being held captive in this court case, forced to sit with the impacts and stare at the faces of abuse with paralysis to turn off or away - it demands feeling and changes the narrative of dismissive numbness. It also opens doors for countless tangential stories to unearth; earthquakes happening now across the globe. I hope her story, other’s shares, and discourse like this will continue to bear healing fruits for us all.
ReplyDelete