Thin Skinned Darkness
Has emerged for us on earth. How are we going to ride it?
Paradoxically, as a child, I experience thin-skinned
darkness in the majestic pathless unpeopled forests. The canopy of tall trees,
whispering high above to each other in secret languages. Leaving us humans on
the moss-covered bottom in the dark. Soft bare feet. Mama in her wide long
light-blue skirt, smiling Papa, little brother, little sister, further off,
invisible and yet present. Family is spread far apart. I know their presence.
Der Wald ist dunkel, und schön. Durchsichtig. Transparent. Dünnhäutig, thin
skinned. We each – sammeln Beeren – collect buckets of berries, blue and red,
in pregnant silence. Blaubeeren, Walderdbeeren, Waldhimbeeren. Blau und Rot. Food
to be transformed into a simple dish, berries with milk – heavenly. And jam or
jelly for the winter, our vitamin supply.
The fifties in Bavaria, Germany. Post war. Our displaced
small family. For me as a young girl, times are resonating with an intricate
symphony of trills, buzzing, swooshing, howling, screeching, cuckooing,
lullabying. These sounds were provided by the voices of institutions and humans,
cultural movements and the roads of painful renewal after utter collective
destruction, morally and physically. All complicit, nobody exempt. How to find consolation,
safety? I count the cuckoo’s call. How to know wholeness, healing? In dire
circumstances the smallest gesture brings comfort, a piece of bread, old potatoes,
a few berries. The poem below is for our future generations worldwide and in America
who we cannot protect.
Thin Skinned Darkness
In dark woods, a
child swells with awe, raises her eyes
thick canopy, trees
hugging, sunlight barely seeping through
dense needles,
leaves, branches, feathered spiderwebs and slowed time
woven into a buzzing realm of transparent dragon flies, mingling rainbow wings
hooting echoes, owls
in spacious dark cathedral – girl’s gaze falls to the mossy floor
its startling softness musky, here unexpected growth brings forth mushrooms
Waldpilze, Waldfrüchte,
hidden forest dreams burst into existence
Steinpilze,
Pfifferlinge, Walderdbeeren, Blaubeeren, low to ground
without thinking ten
nimble fingers find tiny wild strawberries, blueberries
beneath green foliage,
when tickled the unassuming bushes release their riches
without delay these
creatures blindly fall into her palms, generous offerings
lips tracing each
orb’s rippling or smooth surface, surely she deserves
boldly tingling aliveness arriving on her
tongue, mouth’s cathedral
filled with wonder,
sweet fragrance, juicy restraint
lucid tastes surprise
the girl’s palate, awaken sacred dialogue
intimate voices speak
of the unknown, a faint fear, fleeting, curious
comfort, whispers,
Mama and Papa are further down in pathless woods
filling their
buckets, little brother and sister too, whenever another big
round Steinpilz shows
its head, with smaller siblings not far from it
life’s belly rises
and falls invisibly, in thin skinned darkness
girl feels safe,
enveloped in Being, squatting low
unknown earth, the
future prepares with melodies
or are the sparkling
sunbeams the give-away?
delayed light
gathering in vertical shafts
many a berry is tinting
girl’s tongue
beautiful deep crimson
purple
leaving her fully fed
consoled
Karina Epperlein,
Berkeley, September, 2025
Wald = woods, forest dunkel = dark
schön = beautiful blau und rot = bue and red
Steinpilze = porcini,
cep, penny bun Pfifferlinge =
chanterelles
Walderdbeeren = wild
strawberries Blaubeeren = blueberries
Waldhimbeeren = wild
raspberries
(in the above poem all fruit are wild, tiny, and full of
intense flavor,
porcini sometimes delightfully big)
Art by Antonie
Cosentino
(pages of her Art
Journal 2023 – 2025)
Courtesy Antonie
Cosentino, Ramona, California
Antonie Cosention, born in 1938 in Bavaria, married to Dante, is a
prolific artist and art historian. She studied, worked and exhibited in Munich,
Italy, New York and Southern California. In the past months, you can find her
on Sunday mornings on the street corners of Ramona with a small group
and their handmade signs demanding democracy.
More of her art in my February essay “Let Us Be Careful”
And remember?
Comments