Who Will Fill My Place When I Am Gone?
Out in space, a few humans are orbiting for weeks, months or years, often two or three in a small capsule. For the most part, they return unscathed to earth. In contrast, remember the families missing one or two of its members. The “disappeared” – who will find them? Who will fill their place? The presence of the “abducted” are nevertheless painfully felt in the silence of their home: the empty mug, jacket still on the hook near the door. Nobody dares to step into their spot as not to hinder the possible return of their loved one. Eerie Silence. Absence.
my clematis end of December
All of us have to step up constantly, for many reasons. At certain times, the pressure is higher. Like filling the place of those who have been disappeared, or forced into exile. Or were violently murdered. Those having left for good, leave behind heartache. Their absence might bring forth the best in us. Whenever violation is involved, our soul, too, is attacked and brutalized. Perpetrator, victim, witnesses, and bystanders, all feel the blow and are haunted by the reverberations of gunshots, violence, and cruelty. Yet – Beauty will find us. It will fill us. Pick us up, reminding us to inhabit the realm of caring, becoming fully human. Which beauty? You might ask. The humble and tiny one. The one each of us is faithful to. The one we envisage, conjure, create, and yearn for.
Who will fill my place when I am gone? Asks the mother. Asks the child. Asks the partner of 25 or 65 years. The ones left behind have to step up. Sometimes this seems impossible. Initially at least. Sometimes it happens in two days, 1.5 million raised for the family of a mother executed by our government’s paramilitary. We might feel bereft, empty handed, heartbroken. Others raise their iron fists, threaten us, try to force us to believe their rusty lies. Here we are. Cornered, wounded. Open palms. Whatever we need, whatever it is, it will find us, fortify us. Kali, Lilith, Persephone, Sophia – fully unveiled wisdom waiting for us. Can we stay awake, so as to notice? Courage is always beautiful and inspiring, spotted easily.
After storm
It takes two wings to heal from injury. One to make us never forget, the other moving us forward. Both in tandem, catching the breeze, lifted by the upward and forward movement of goodness, of inspiration. Sometimes we have to wait for a southern drift, or the zephyr, or the northern gusting winds. From the east, we hear the faint sighs of the rising sun. In our own center we know. Healing takes time, care, and space – transformation.
When we know humble beauty, it will find us, seek us out. It will visit us, inside, outside. In people’s gaze, in surprising and small gestures, smiles. The breath of cool morning air. We won’t have to travel far; we’ll sense the vibration. We’ll breathe its subtle fragrance eliciting goose bumps. Beauty does not reside in grandiose golden hubris. “Gold veneer” as an ages-old tool of seduction, abuse. and enslavement. For those who know the difference between beauty and shiny objects: When we detect danger, we will be warned early. Not giving in to distraction, we will know how to respond, move and yield, protect others in small and big ways. When meeting Beauty in unexpected places, we will recognize it and be lifted. So, we stay open, clear, courageous and alive. Every day – we practice.
When we drink true Beauty, we will be aligned and guided.
How, and when, is small humble beauty finding YOU?
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