Life Always Loved Me
Life always loved me – surely gave
me everything
needed, as baby absorbing parents’
hunger pain
confusion helpless fear, Mama’s
desperate fury
Papa’s gentle absence, young and fierce
survival
bombs bullets catastrophe scarce rationed
food
no money ceiling crumbling, taught
me sacrifice
always I was in love with them and
they have
always loved me…
Whatever made me walk away seek new
lands
in München Kaulbachstrasse Paris New
York
Frankfurt Brazil Berlin Jerusalem Persia
Italy
Hawaii San Francisco North Berkeley
– till I
stopped running stayed firmly put falling
in love with steep hill’s old
talkative live oaks
hawks participating watching me with
care
all places loved me and wrapped in
awe
I always loved them…
Yet home stays far
away, removed so far
hidden till I dare
to be entranced by tender
curious gaze of deer
squirrel owl fox cat racoon
opossum gopher coyote
hummingbird hovering
their eyes at
times intensely gleaming with dreams
improvising my basic
sub-drone for melodies to float
deep roots stabilizing
growing into fragrant unknown
heights – hearts
of mourning doves fluttering in new
rhythms, visionary
risks I always took and sailed
they loved me in
return…
Hidden in the
Valley of the Great Mystery fortifying truth
playful spirit,
they too loved me, ambitious drive, yet all
was wisely gifted gladly
received despite obstacles pride
life loved me even
when stumbling falling hiding – too
many losses exhausted
trembling firmly instructed me
to step up meet fate
courageously allow my destiny
to sculpt me
chiseling off another layer unneeded
all was given guided
returning to the Valley, never
disappointing Emptiness,
nothing achieved only
helped healed held
life mysteriously loved
me – will always love
the Valley…
Epitaph:
In
the Valley of the Great Mystery
There we are, laughing, not needing many words, joyfully beaming
at each other, listening, taking in, laughing, this is what Janis and I do in
our video call for his 29th birthday, six days late, but he does not
care, being celebrated feels good at any time… Understanding what the other
means does not only happen through talking in words, we trust each other
with our laughter, smiles and chuckling, not hiding anything… Within our joy are
nestled gentle rivulets of gazing calmly, thoughtful, even fleetingly sad, embarrassed,
enveloped in the wonder of being… His evening is my morning, it is purely
about Being – Dasein – a naked joy, singing jaah jaah jaah, seeing and hearing
each other across the continents and oceans, yes yes yes, in this Valley of the
Great Mystery, awesome forever… forever smiling… sailing….
Karina
Epperlein, Berkeley, July, 2025
Comments
How wonderful – you look at your life and path full of blessings. Also, beautiful how you describe your telephone call with Janis. Yes, we notice that you can connect with Janis in his soul. Ingeborg and I spoke about that yesterday, it is so good that people exist who can look and listen in this way.
(He uses the word “Glück” which is very multi-layered in German, and can mean blessings, good luck, good fortune, happiness.)
Wie schön du siehst auf dein Leben und deinen Weg, mit Glück gesegnet. Auch wie schön auch, wie du dein Telefonat mit janis beschreibst. Ja, wir merken, dass du dich mit Janis in seiner Seele verbinden kannst. Darüber haben wir, Ingeborg und ich gestern gesprochen, wie gut, dass es Menschen gibt, die so hinsehen und hinhören können.
Here a thoughtful review: https://lithub.com/the-paradox-of-the-contemporary-southern-writer/