New Possibilities

Starting end of February, the big old live oaks outside my bedroom cottage on the hill begin showing new growth. Really? The yearly miracle of renewal is happening seven weeks early. Making it even more of a wonder, normally I have to wait till April. So much rain in late fall, followed by a warm January and February. Each spring, I am helplessly stunned all over again, as if I never have experienced it before. Nestled beneath, upon waking my delight mingles with pure astonishment, awe, and contentment. Seeligkeit. Trees and bird song. Bliss. The big giants with their sturdy fat trunks and long limbs – covered in moss and all kind of lichen, reaching wide and far, deep and high – are my teachers and companions. The tender new leaves sing out to me, my heart hums along with joy. The trees’ life juice originates from the equally deep and wide roots, pushing through wood, hard branchlets, closed buds. Inner strength is unfolding, daring, trusting, growing, transforming. Tenacity, willingness, perseverance, beauty…

This year more than ever, the vibrancy of color is astonishing. Highly charged with fresh life force, a shimmering field. In contrast to the old ones, the new leaves shine and glisten with a light bright yellow green – lime green or chartreuse. A more yellowish tint for the bloom with its flowers and catkins. Delirious and curious, the oaks’ growth spurt keeps reaching for the sky. Expanding into space, ready to touch all. The delicate foliage lunges towards me, ready to penetrate through my skin to the core of my being. Gratefully I greet and drink in this tender green, breathe it into my belly, limbs and soles of feet. My spine sways, my eyes soften. Ecstatic aliveness.

All beings – human, animal, plant, mineral – are at the mercy of hurricanes, atmospheric rivers, floods, fire storms, volcanoes, tornadoes, mudslides, rising oceans. Up here on the hill, I live close to the elements, strongly feel their power. Extremes in weather and multiplying climate emergencies keep bringing humbling realities to our attention. Fear, awe, respect and reverence are appropriate responses. Adjustments are needed. However, throughout history, humans have acted as conquerors, as masters, again and again. It is a dangerous mindset. From survival to greed and hubris. For centuries now we have insisted on dominance, robbery, and exploitation – limiting ourselves on many fronts to war mentality. We abandoned other paths of cooperating, co-creating, collaborating, witnessing, learning, partaking. We forgot to practice humility.

Day after day, the greening of my oaks invites me to listen. The mystery is near-by, and yet ungraspable. Filled with wonder, I meditate under the canopy – protected, beschützt, behütet, geborgen. The daily question is how to live with integrity, dignity. Be useful. Obviously right now globally, we are all grasping in the dark. Not only are we in war times inside this country, but America is at war with other nations. In this feverish insanity, how to envisage a different future, a fresh start? Spring says: yes, things have to change, must awaken. Cannot stay the same. The prospect and need for new paths is being mirrored to us everywhere. Each oak tree shows off its revived purpose. Whether we want to or not, regeneration is taking place. We, too, must go inside to rediscover our own unique purpose.  Be quiet and still, so openings might appear on tip toes within the frightening chaos of it all.

We are so small. Beneath the tall live oaks, I am a just dwarf. Could we let it sink in how tiny and vulnerable we humans really are? What if this insight would make us bow our heads, get on our knees? Bowing to the forces bigger than us. Gratitude flooding our heart, our lungs. Reverence spontaneously flowing through our nervous system. Engaging not just for a moment in fleeting appreciation, but rather a lingering, a yielding and giving over. Are we ready to connect soul to soul? Tree soul to human soul, recognizing each other. Caring. It all starts with being our own steward. Committing to life and to responsibility. From there, everything around us will be affected. New possibilities emerge. The energy of inner growth and transformation radiates into the world – like the rapturous renewal of my old trees each spring. Growing from dawn to dusk to dawn. Day after day. A deep-rooted daring. Life seems drunk with new green, flaunting joie de vivre.

let’s try – we have nothing to lose

…glory and praise…