Perpetual Promise 

Sometimes people from the past appear out of the blue. Recently, a former long-time student of mine writes to ask about my current T’ai Chi classes. She is a memorable and lovely person, and a good writer.  “I would so love to take one of your classes again — they still linger in my mind as times of great pleasure, peace and progress.”  We catch up a bit on our lives in our e-mail exchange. I write back about possibilities for her to join. And we add to all the previous p’s: pleasure, peace and progress – possibility. This strikes me as a wonderful game. I add my own p’s as the days go by. There are word-wizards in the world, I am not one of them. But the palpable popping of the syllables is enticing. Just like the dry seed cups of my poppies ready to spread precious potential. Fleeting gentle explosions, play of lips. All the p’s pouncing…

 

Luscious memories of lingering on the floor with dictionaries. What is progress? I am on my belly, on the soft Gabbeh rug, with the fat heavy English-German or Oxford American Dictionary.  Reading page after page filled with letters, pulling me along. Fortschritt. Curiosity and delight. The definitions flow, intermingle, disperse. As if they are mathematical equations. As if this will set me free. Will make me part of the world. Wondering and wandering. Getting lost. Fingers turning pages – is it not old-fashioned scrolling? Can knowledge be glimpsed and retained? Originally, I approached the Thesaurus for just one word, now I am carried away by the current. Trusting that even if no purpose, it’s a form of travel, daydreaming. Partnering in a dance with arbitrary chance. Nothing pompous about this playful perseverance. Practicing sounds, spellings, combinations, conjugations. Playground of possibilities. Perpetual promise, promenading down the endless lanes of thinking. All kinds of waves build phrases; intentional movement creates meaning. The rivers join the ocean. And then silence.

 

Deep inside, I listen. Ich horche zu. Waiting, patiently. To my surprise the Great Mystery announces its presence. Singt und klingt und schwingt. Das Grosse Geheimnis. Die geheimnisvolle Sprache des Daseins.

 

True listening beyond the words is not easy, it needs practice. As always, some things seem so impossible, but others in contrast are not needed anymore. Unnecessary. Looking for the essential ingredients. The essences that constitute existence. Presence. There, very little needs to be said or done. Patiently receiving, and vibrating with the echoes. All flows – dances to the eternal rhythm, reverberates with the universe’s hum. Exhibits its beauty, its luminosity. All has its place. In future and past. Things arise, disappear. Encounters, collaborations, entanglements. They mingle, embrace, part, dissolve. Review of my life. So much has changed, reappeared, vanished. So much has been transformed, transcended, is gone. And yet all is present, today….

today remembering my Papa

palpable precious pleasure

peppery potent

purposeful

play

 

 

Papa loved Mama’s traditional dense poppyseed cake. Mohnkuchen. Me, too.

Nostalgically I am yearning for the dark paste of poppyseed,

and find it in the Hamentaschen at Saul’s.

Danke Danke Danke

 

 

Translations:

Fortschritt

progress

Singt und klingt und schwingt. Das Grosse Geheimnis. Die geheimnisvolle Sprache des Daseins.

Singing and ringing and swinging. The Great Mystery. The secret language of beingness (existence).